1. Buy a copy of
In Style magazine with Kate Hudson on the cover. Realize you would look just as awesome as she does with blond hair.
2. Tell everyone you’re going to dye your hair blond.
3. After a month or so of building up the hype, buy some hair color remover (which you keep calling “hair remover”) and blond dye.
4. Let the hair color remover sit in your hair for 25 of the 50 required minutes. Get up to look in the mirror. Realize that it’s turning your hair orange. Scream, panic, and rinse it out.
5. Apply the blond dye and hope that it’s forgiving.
6. It isn’t. You now have orange hair.
7. Stare at your husband’s electric shaver, and for the first time in your life seriously consider just shaving it all off.
8. Then you remember what happened when Marshall did that before his wedding in
How I Met Your Mother, and change your mind.
9. Spend an hour at lunch watching your husband try to cover up a smile every time he looks at you. Call a salon to book a consultation.
10. At the salon, you learn that it will cost $150 and take three hours to fix what you’ve done, and they don’t even have a free appointment for two weeks.
11. Remember that when you were cataloguing all the hair colors you’ve ever had for your husband (red, black, black and white, brown, blond), he said he thought you would look good with brown hair.
12. Walk to the grocery store, and buy a box of brown hair dye and three Twix bars.
13. Eat the Twix bars compulsively while the dye sets.
14. Rinse the dye. Sigh with relief that you no longer look like a manga character. Vow that you will never try to go from red hair to blond again.
